Personal Responsibility: An annoying truth.
Many of us as adults are working to unlearn harmful behavioral and relational patterns we learned in our childhood and from different life experiences, while learning new ways of being. While you are not responsible for what happened to you as a child, or even many traumatic experiences as an adult, you are responsible for healing. It’s very annoying, I know. The reality is this acceptance of personal responsibility is crucial to you living the life you want. Once you accept your responsibilities, then you can act on them. This responsibility is actually quite empowering. No need to wait on anyone else, you get to make your goals and you get to work towards them. Now, I know you might be thinking, “sure, sounds simple in theory, but in practice, thats really hard!” And you would be correct in that thought. Just because something is simple, does not make it easy and personal responsibility for your life is anything but easy.
I also want to caution taking on responsibility that is not yours to take, such as responsibility for someone else’s feelings or behavior. Being honest with yourself and holding boundaries around what is yours and what is someone else’s is crucial. I also don’t want to ignore the role many of the larger systems in society play in influencing our lives, some of which make personal responsibility challenging in a world that doesn’t support us. Personal responsibility is a pillar of living a life of integrity. In therapy, you might learn new information, skills, and reframes, however ultimately, it is up to you to practice them. You must be the one to actually make the changes. You must put your values into practice to live in your integrity. Hold yourself accountable for what you are responsible for with self-compassion. You didn’t think I wasn’t going to mention it did you? Self-compassion is key here because you will not do anything perfectly and that is ok. Perfection isn’t the goal, personal responsibility is about trying with integrity. It’s time to empower yourself by accepting your personal responsibility.
Questions to ponder.
What personal responsibility have I resisted?
What responsibility do I need to accept?
How can I practice ownership of what I am responsible for?
