Why is distress tolerance important?
Let’s start with what distress tolerance even is. Distress tolerance is your ability to tolerate uncomfortable emotions and experiences without resorting to unhealthy coping patterns or over reactions. Having a good distress tolerance is key to managing stress and working through the challenges of life without your nervous system getting over activated. When you don’t have a lot of distress tolerance, it may be hard to handle changes or work through the discomfort of learning new things keeping you stuck or unable to make progress towards your goals. Growth, physically, mentally, and spiritually, all happens on the edge of discomfort, so being able to tolerate that edge is crucial.
Like most things we discuss here, there is nuance. Some people have too much distress tolerance, which also isn’t helpful. Too much distress tolerance might look like accepting unacceptable behavior from others, staying in situations or jobs that harm you, or neglecting your health because you’re used to feeling bad. What we’re going for here is discernment. Being able to discern whether or not this uncomfy thing is helpful to work through for your growth or is not good for you, takes practice. It’s trial and error, finding your own limits and where you can challenge yourself. You know I’m going to say it, be kind to yourself as you learn, it can be a rocky road. A great way to hone this skill is to actively choose safe uncomfortable situations to explore your edges. You can do this through movement practices, learning something new, trying something that makes you nervous. Basically anything that allows you to challenge yourself on purpose where the stakes are lower helps you learn this skill of discernment. You get better at reading your body’s signals this way. So build that distress tolerance to the things that ultimately help you grow and learn to listen to yourself when your body says no.
Questions to ponder.
What are the signs that you could tolerate something vs the signs you have hit your limit?
What do you tend to struggle to tolerate?
How could you improve your distress tolerance? What practices do you want to commit to?
