Don’t New Year’s Resolution Yourself.
Ahh, good old new year’s resolutions. It’s baked into the culture. However, these resolutions and goals often fail. Why? There are many reasons you might not be able to stick with them. Often, people make these goals too big, too far far away from your starting point, or try to change too much too quickly. Remember, change happens slowly. The brain can’t physically change that fast. Real lasting change happens through consistent small pattern and habit changes. The key word being consistent. If your goals require changes that are not sustainable for the long haul, they will inevitably fail. Not to mention, the season of winter can be a tough one to create lots of changes. If we are in alignment with the seasons, it’s natural to slow down in winter. There is simply less energy for forward movement.
You may have heard about SMART goals. Goals need to be specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time bound. Often New Year’s Resolutions aren’t very SMART. Give yourself some time to reflect on this to give you clarity around your goals. Please have big goals! I know I do. You will not start at the finish line. We need to be realistic and honest with ourselves here. Your starting point may not be a place you are particularly happy with. Thats ok. If you wanted to learn to play guitar, you wouldn’t expect yourself to be Jack White on day two. You know what I’m about to say…you have to practice self-compassion with your goals, as well as, the drivers of these goals. Shame is never a good catalyst for change. Let’s say you have a classic weight loss goal. There is nothing inherently wrong with this. If it’s coming from a place of self-hatred and shame though, that will cloud your planning, execution, and sustainability of said goal. Making the goal incredibly difficult to achieve and maintain. I could talk about this all day, in short, don’t New Year’s Resolution yourself. Be gentle and kind, while also holding yourself accountable to your goals. Which in my opinion, is a form a self-love. Keeping promises to yourself builds self-efficacy (your belief in yourself that you can do hard things) and self-confidence. Give yourself time with grace to achieve your goals. So dream big, make big goals, and show up for yourself like you love yourself.
Questions to ponder.
How have you New Year’s Resolution’d yourself in the past?
What is one goal you want to give yourself the entire year to work on?
How can you actively practice compassion while holding yourself accountable through the change process?
