What is identity?
Identity is often talked about in the self-development world. What exactly is it though? Think of it as the collection of who you are. Identity is a culmination of personality traits, beliefs, characteristics, expressions, values, and cultural influence. It’s slippery. Your identity can evolve over time. Some core traits will remain the same throughout your entire lifetime. An example in my life, I was talking before I walked and guess what? I’m still a yapper. Different experiences and relationships can cause parts your identity to shift around as life goes on. However, when you attach your identity to things/people/work outside yourself, your identity becomes fragile. Meaning, that if you lose those external things, you lose yourself. This is common in a capitalistic society. People often identify with their jobs, the roles they play (such as mother), or their accomplishments. While parts of who we are inform these areas of our lives, what we do is not who we are. Sometimes we over identify with aspects of ourselves in a way that holds us back. Like someone thinking they are bad at something, so they never even try or holding onto patterns we learned through trauma that no longer serve us.
As we have discussed before, finding out who you aren’t and who you are are helpful parts of the identity exploration process. You can use what you do as a tool to learn more about yourself. If you are an artist for example, going deeper into what drives that part of your life can help you explore your identity. You may love the creative process, challenge, expression, community, connection, or play of creating art. Those traits help you form a more cohesive identity outside simply being an artist. This allows your sense of identity to be more fluid, not tethered to something specific that you can carry into any area of your life. Sometimes grief can show up if you are letting go of parts of your identity as you make way for new parts. Remember some parts of your identity will stay the same and some are meant to evolve, so be gentle with yourself. It’s fun to be flexible and explore who you are!
Questions to ponder.
How do you describe your identity?
What do you over identify with? How can you let that go?
How do you want to explore your identity?
