Would you live for them?

“I would die for them,” is a common saying when people are referring to their loved ones. But would you live for them? Would you choose to care for yourself so well that you have lots of energy and a long healthy life to spend time with them? Would you take care of your body so you can do activities with them? Would you take care of your mental health so you can be emotionally available for them? Would you work on your communication skills to improve your relationships? Would you heal your own inner wounds so that you don’t dump your stuff on your loved ones? Would you work to regulate your nervous system so you react appropriately? Would you take care of yourself so that you can care for them?

Your loved ones and your community don’t need you to die for them, they need you to live for them. They want you around, they want you healthy. And because people love you, they want you feeling well. They want to enjoy life with you. When you care for yourself well, it reduces pressure on them to do all the heavy lifting of caring for you. This doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t also rely on support from others. It is important to do what we can for ourselves so the whole burden isn’t on other people. We often think of self-care as selfish or maybe we don’t think we have time for it. However, care for yourself is care for your relationships, your loved ones, and your community. Practice reframing that in your mind. So if you find yourself ever thinking you would die for someone, think about how you can live for them.

Questions to ponder.

• Who means the most to you in this world?

• How do you want to show up for them? What do you want to experience with them?

• What can you do to better care for yourself to make those wants a reality?